Three Reasons Why We Tend to be Ungrateful

Studies show that there are psychological, emotional, and spiritual benefits to living a life a gratitude. Most of us don’t need research to tell us this as we have experienced the benefits of practicing gratitude first hand. Even though we have experienced the power of gratitude, it can still be a challenge not to fall back into the trap of ungratefulness.

Just because something is good doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

Gratitude does not come natural to us because gratefulness is at odds with some of our deeply ingrained psychological tendencies. Here are three of them:

1. Self-Serving Bias- The self-serving bias refers to our tendency to take personal credit for success while blaming outside sources for our failures. Essentially, we tend to believe that our successes are due to internal traits and talents, while our failures are caused by variables outside of our control. Gratitude goes against this self-serving bias because when we are grateful we give credit to others for a part of our success in life.

2. Negativity Bias- Our brain is simply built with a greater sensitivity to unpleasant news so our attitudes are typically more heavily influenced by downbeat news than good news. This is why we tend to remember the bad even when the good of a situation greatly outweighs the bad. When we focus on the negative in our day-to-day lives, we often overlook the everyday goodness and take it for granted.

3. Hedonic Adaptation- Research suggests that we have the ability to get use to things that initially bring us pleasure. Hedonic adaptation is our ability to adapt to changes in our life circumstances or experiences. So no matter how great of an experience we had, in time, we will return to a set point of happiness.

So what can we do about these tendencies? Well, if you want cultivate a lifestyle of gratitude, then you must prioritize habits and rituals of gratitude regularly.

Turning Awareness into Action- Who is someone who has played a role in one of your most recent accomplishments? Did you express gratitude to them for the role they played? If not, why? What’s stopping you from expressing gratitude to them today?

Source-Rebert Emmons

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