Are We There Yet?

"First I was dying to finish high school and start college. And then I was dying to finish college and start working. And then I was dying to marry and have children. And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough for school so I could return to work. And then I was dying to retire. And now, I am dying…and suddenly I realize I forgot to live.”

When I was 9 years old my mother, brother, and I moved from Mississippi to Atlanta. Since most of my family lived in Mississippi, we often took frequent trips back and forth from Atlanta to Mississippi to visit. Although I enjoyed spending time with family in Mississippi, I dreaded the trips. Going back and forth from Atlanta to Mississippi in itself was not what bothered me; it was the 7 or so hours that it took to get us there (my mother is a careful driver J). At the time, I felt as though there could have been a better use of time than riding in the car for that long.

I was very much like Bart in the Simpson's eposide when he repeatedly and annoyingly continued to ask “are we there yet?” and his dad,Homer, answered "no!".

One summer as we were driving to Mississippi, it dawned on me that these trips would not last forever. I decided that instead of complaining about the drive, I would make the most out of our times together with my mother and brother. Once I decide to make the most out of the trips; they became more enjoyable.

It amazing how a little change in perspective can change everything.

In our every day lives, a little change of perspective can make a huge difference as well.

Unfortunately, many people have a “are we there yet?” mentality and approach to life. What I have found is that many people (especially those who are considered driven and ambitious) can be unhealthily focused on the next stage in life, and achieving the next goal that they miss out on creating a meaningful life. All too often we are so anxious to get to our next destination that we don’t maximize the journey.

Is life only about the journey?

Don’t get me wrong; I firmly believe that where someone is going in life matters. I have heard it said many times that “it’s the journey that counts; not the destination.” I personally don’t believe this statement. The destination is important: a journey to Alabama is different from the journey to Spain and a journey to Spain is different from the journey to Australia. The point is, all you have at any moment is the journey itself, because once you actually reach your destination, it is, by definition not longer your destination. So why not appreciate every moment of the journey rather that focusing solely on the destination. The key is where we place the emphasis.

Don’t obsess about the outcome; get passionate about the progress.

Another way of looking at this is process vs. outcome. “Process” is the way you go about doing something. “Outcomes” are the results of what you have done. Research shows that if you want to perform at your peak, develop genuine confidence and find fulfillment in what you do, we must commit to the process, engage in it fully, and detach from the outcome. Again, this does mean not having goals in life, it just means shifting the emphasis.

In life, we are all headed somewhere. Below are 3 questions to ponder along the way:

1. How are you making the most out of your current stage in life?

2. Who are you becoming?

3. Where are you headed?

#cultivatingconfidencewithcoleman #journey