DARE to Get Unstuck

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!”- Rocky Balboa

In one of my favourite scenes in Rocky V, Rocky Balboa has a heart to heart with his son about things he has learned as a boxer about life, failure, and resilience. This scene has always resonated with me because I have found it true that if I am striving to accomplish something significant, I will face some type of setback along the way. The setbacks and things that happen to us don’t define us; rather it is how we respond.

The truth is we will all get a little stuck sometimes. How do we get unstuck?

According to Acceptance and Commitment Training (ACT), in order to get unstuck we must DARE. DARE is a acronym that stand for:

D- Defuse Unhelpful Thoughts

A- Accept Discomfort

R- Realistic Goals

E- Embrace values

1. Defuse Unhelpful Thoughts

Often what prevents us from moving forward is listening to and internalizing self-sabotaging thoughts. These thoughts typically come after we have had a set back or disappointment. These thoughts also get triggered when we attempt something new. When these thoughts come, which they inevitably will, the key is to view thoughts for what they are--just thoughts.

2. Accept Discomfort

Most often when we are stuck, we must try something new in order to get unstuck. If we continue to grow, to expand our comfort zones, and try out new things then we will experience the pain of growth. There is no way around it. In order to do what matters, we must be willing to make room for discomfort.

3. Set Realistic Goals

If you are stuck, the key is to get moving even if it is just a small step. Setting goals is a practical way for us to begin again taking effective action. It is important that our goals are realistic. If our goals exceed our resources then we will fail. As I set my goals, I often ask myself do I have the mental, physical, and spiritual energy and resources to achieve this goal. If I don’t have the resources, I may need to break down my goals some in order to make it realistic.

4. Embrace Your Values

Our values provide motivation. If we have not clarified them or embraced them we can easily get stuck. If you are stuck ask yourself “ what are the values am I forgetting, neglecting, or acting inconsistently with? What type of person do you want to be?” Allow your values to guide you.

Journaling: What are your core values? How can these values help you get moving again when you are stuck

#cultivatingconfidencewithcoleman #values #unstuck #ACT